Why
by theatre geek
Summary: Lorelai makes a decision that impacts every one around her.
1. A Fight

Why  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. A/N: This chapter does not introduce the plot. That will happen next. Some characters are OOC in this fic, but please read and review, anyway. Thanks. This all happens near the end of last season.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Mom, you weren't there!" Rory screamed.  
  
"I told you, I'm sorry, honey." Lorelai pleaded with her daughter.  
  
"What on earth could have made you forget?"  
  
"I just did, okay?"  
  
"No, not okay. I told you that it was important to me. I told you to be there. But you weren't."  
  
"I really am sorry."  
  
"Well, sorry doesn't always cut it. Why can't you just tell me where you were?"  
  
"I.I-"  
  
"Or is it some secret that you can't even tell your own daughter? I thought we didn't keep secrets. I have always been honest with you! Is this what I get for that? I work to make you trust me. I do everything I can think of. And for what? You aren't even here to meet my new boyfriend from school! Didn't you want to meet him?"  
  
"Of course I did, honey. I just got tied up at work and."  
  
"Right, work. That's your excuse for everything. You didn't even get back until after I had gone to sleep."  
  
"But it's true."  
  
"It is going to take more than that to earn my trust back." And with that she was out the door and on her way to school. Rory didn't want to leave now. She wanted to talk this out of course, but she was late and figured that she could cool off at school. She would, of course have to apologize again to Mark for her mother's behavior, but she knew that he would understand. He was great to her.  
  
Jess had gone back to New York over two months ago to take care of his mother, who was getting very sick, and Rory had decided, after 3 weeks, that the long distance relationship wouldn't work out.  
  
Then, about a week ago, she found Mark Harol. Mark wasn't exactly new to the school. No, he just wasn't very active in the school. His mother, he had told Rory, had made him join a club: Any club he wanted. Of course he had chosen to be on The Franklin. He loved to write and wanted to be a reporter. That's the first time Rory had seen him. She hadn't given him much thought. Sure, he was attractive. She didn't deny that. But he hadn't looked like he had given her much thought either. He just sat there taking whatever came. When Paris handed him the worst topic at one of the meetings, he didn't protest. He just looked up and said, "Okay." That was at least a few months ago. Maybe even before she and Dean had broken up. She didn't remember.  
  
The truth was that Rory wasn't even sure when she had become attracted to him. No, it just happened. Finally, a week ago, Mark stopped her after a meeting and asked if she wanted to do something sometime. She had been rather surprised. She didn't like to date strangers, but something in his eyes had driven her to accept his offer. It hadn't been desperation, just this energy in them, like he was the happiest person in the world just by talking to her. They had been going out ever since.  
  
Last night, Rory had planned to introduce him to her mother. At 6:30 they were going to meet at the diner and have supper. Lorelai had never showed. Rory and Mark had ordered and eaten anyway. Mark drove her home around 9:00. She hadn't seen her mother until this morning. That's when they had fought. Rory knew that she should let this go. They could always reschedule, but the thing that bothered her the most was that her mother hadn't even called. It was like she had stood them up.  
  
Rory got onto her bus and rode to school. When she stepped off the bus, she wasn't surprised to see Mark waiting for her. He had light brown hair and brown eyes. His hair was just long enough to look carefree, but not shaggy. With a light kiss, they headed toward the gates of Chilton, the thick bars looking a bit more inviting than they had a few years ago. 


	2. A Letter

That afternoon Rory opened the front door and walked into an unusually silent house.  
  
"Mom!" She called. No one answered except for the echo of her own voice. Lorelai must have gone to Luke's for a quick cup of coffee and a flirt. Rory laughed at her mother's ignorance. It was rather amusing how she and Luke flirted.  
  
Rory walked into her room and started studying for her history test for tomorrow. She silently scolded herself for not studying earlier. She was usually on top of these things and would study a week in advance.  
  
~~~  
  
Rory looked up from her books to the clock. It read 6:13. Wow, she thought, had it really been that long? Her mother was still not home and she was getting hungry. She got up from her desk and walked into the kitchen, her footsteps echoing in the still empty house.  
  
On the counter was a note written very sloppily. It read:  
  
Rory, I am so sorry that I missed last night and I really do love you with all my heart. I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything. Please tell all my friends that I love them and that I regret this, but it was too late. I don't know what I was thinking. Just know that I love you and that I truly am sorry. Love, Mom  
  
Rory was completely confused by now. She knew that her mother was sorry and loved her, but 'it was too late?' What was that supposed to mean?  
  
She decided to check the house before going to the diner. After searching the downstairs thoroughly, she walked up the seemingly creaky stairs into her mother's room. What she saw on the floor stunned her and before she could even think, she found herself clutching the lifeless body of her best friend as tightly as possible. She didn't care about the blood staining the carpet. 


	3. An Analogy

A/N: I know that this is very OOC. I had the idea and wanted to continue with it. As for the surprise, I did that intentionally. I wanted to show how this kind of thing can seem sudden to some people. Hope you like this next chapter. Sorry, it's short. Thanks for the reviews.  
  
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As Rory walked out of her mother's room, she heard the doorbell ring. 'That must be the paramedics,' She thought. After calling them, she had sat in the room for a good 5 minutes holding and rocking Lorelai, just as she remembered her mother doing to her. It hadn't sunk in, yet. I was just a bad nightmare. Rory had fallen asleep studying. She would wake up any minute now.  
  
'Wake up already,' She thought. 'I'm scared. Aren't you supposed to wake up when a dream gets too scary?'  
  
She looked down at her hands. The blood had stained them red. Her mother's blood. Crusty, bloody hands were not her mother. Her mother was the bouncy, chipper, coffee-drinking woman who always had energy.  
  
Rory remembered comparing her to the energizer bunny, once. They both kept going, and going, and going.  
  
But eventually batteries run out, right. They always did. Now her mother had taken that analogy to far.  
  
Rory opened the door to see an ambulance outside and several Paramedics. At least none of the neighbors had seen this.  
  
"Hello. May we come in?" One of the doctors asked politely. Rory nodded and led them to her mother's room. She let them go in, not wanting to see her friend on the floor again. None of them said a word. They carried Lorelai out into the ambulance.  
  
"Would you like a ride to the hospital?" The same doctor offered putting out his hand to help her into the ambulance. After a moment of hesitation, Rory accepted by taking his hand and stepping inside. 


	4. A Promise

The drive to the hospital seemed like an eternity. Never had she imagined something like this happening to her. It couldn't. Her life was just getting sorted out. How would she tell everyone? Sookie, Jackson, Luke, Emily, Richard, Lane. Then there was Mark. He hadn't even gotten to meet her mother. How can you tell someone that someone they don't even know is dead and expect them to comfort you? She knew she had to tell everyone, but she didn't want to. She didn't know how. "My mother slit he-" No. She couldn't even bring herself to think it.  
  
Then she had to get her schoolwork done. She still had to finish studying. She didn't want the school to give her a special break. She didn't need it. She just had to balance everything.  
  
The ambulance came to a stop outside the hospital. The paramedics opened the back door, and Rory stepped out. She hated hospitals. They always brought back bad memories. People died everywhere. Tears were shed. Blood and tears. It was never-ending.  
  
She stepped into the waiting room. Tears everywhere. She hated tears. She hadn't cried since she found her mother on the floor. She didn't want to cry. There was no reason to cry over something that was obviously not real. If she cried, this would be real. Crying meant that she couldn't turn back. She would never cry again. Never. 


	5. A Hug

A/N: Thank you to all of you constructive reviewers. I really appreciate all that you had to say. So, here is chapter 5.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mark had been the first one to arrive. Of course, Rory had called him first, so that gave him the upper hand. After Mark, she had called her grandparents. Soon after, she called Luke. Next she was on the phone with Sookie telling her and Jackson to come down to the hospital. Finally she called Lane, then her father. That had been hard. She had had to be amazingly vague and had practically hung up on him. Of course, she hadn't told anyone what had happened, just that they needed to come. She still didn't know how to tell any of them.  
  
Rory was relieved when Mark walked into the room before any of the others got there. She could talk to him, she was sure. But she didn't have a plan. She always had a plan for things. As Mark approached her, she simply fell into his arms. She still didn't cry, just needed someone to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.  
  
"It's okay," he assured her in a comforting tone. She felt completely safe in his arms, like none of this had happened. Nothing and no one existed besides the two of them. This moment was all she needed. This was the best thing she had ever felt. Some people called it love. Rory didn't know what it was, but it felt better than good.  
  
Just then Mark moved to sit in one of the overstuffed waiting room chairs. As she looked into his deep brown eyes, he shifted nervously, still smiling. Oh, no. Rory had forgotten his fear of hospitals. He had told her that he didn't like being in a place with so much death and suffering. She hugged him again.  
  
"Thanks," she whispered.  
  
"I love you," he told her, squeezing her toward him.  
  
"I love you, too," she answered, holding tight to the moment.  
  
"Mind telling me what happened?" He asked as he broke the hug.  
  
"Uh." Scenes from that day flashed through her mind. The fight, the note. "I just.there was this.then I." she stumbled over her words, not knowing how to say what she was thinking. Finally she let out a defeated sigh. "I can't," she confessed.  
  
Then he kissed her. It was amazing. She didn't understand how he could comfort her and know exactly what she needed when he didn't even know what had happened. She supposed it was love, again. 


	6. A Refuge

"Rory," he called. She spun around in the chair and smiled weakly. Luke practically ran into the waiting room.  
  
"What happened? Who are you?" He directed the latter question to Mark, but Rory answered it for him.  
  
"Luke, this is Mark-my boyfriend. Mark, meet Luke, the man who supplies coffee to me and my-" She couldn't seem to get the last word out. She had felt rather safe until she tried to talk about her mother. Neither of them knew about what had happened, though she probably gave it away.  
  
"Nice to meet you," Luke tried to change the subject, sensing Rory's discomfort.  
  
"You too. I've heard so much about you. Rory talks about you all the time," Mark replied with a small chuckle trying to lighten the mood as well. Little did they know, both of them were soon going to hear the news. The horrible news that would leave Luke feeling almost as alone as Rory when she had seen her mother lying on the floor, unconscious.  
  
Rory felt Luke sit in the seat next to her. Now she had the support of two of the most important men in her life. She knew that she was allowed to cry, and she wished to hell that she could. She wanted to just pour out her soul to these people. Tell them all that had happened. But she couldn't bring herself to. The tears wouldn't come. She had been trying for a while now, but still not one lonely teardrop had ventured out onto the open. In a way, she was glad. In not showing her emotion, she could keep others from interrogating her. Being indifferent did have its advantages. No one had to know what she was thinking. She could hide, deep inside herself, where no one would bother her. Like a refuge from the terrible world called reality. 


	7. A Spot

Everyone that Rory had called to come to the hospital was now here. There was no way that she could back out of it now. After Luke, Sookie and Jackson had come into the waiting room, then her grandparents, and finally Lane. Each one of them had attempted to comfort Rory, but they still had no idea what had happened. All the nurse had told them was that Lorelai was there in a hospital room down a long, narrow corridor. That was all that Rory really knew, either. Sure, she knew a bit more, but how could she be sure. She didn't know if her mother was dead or just unconscious. Her pulse had been beating when Rory had found her, but, for all she knew, Rory's mother could be dead by now.  
  
She shuddered just thinking about it. She was still sitting in the chair, starring into space, when someone hugged her. It was her grandmother. Rory turned to look at her and realized that there were tears running down Emily's face. Rory was surprised. Her grandmother had never really shown much emotion.  
  
"I love you, you know," Emily told her.  
  
Rory could only nod. Of course she did. That was all her grandmother said for a while. They sat there in silence, all that had gathered there. This silence was filled, though, with thoughts. Each and every person was lost in thought. Lost in the worry, the disconnection from reality.  
  
Rory just sat in the chair staring at nothing. Staring at the black spot on the floor. It never moved. She wondered how many people that spot had seen walk into this room. People just as fearful, just as clueless as her. The spot seemed to smile at her. Probably hundreds. People with the same problem. Yet totally different. People who had come in through those doors and some who never went back out. It was sad. This spot had seen so much horror, so much death, but it couldn't shield itself. She felt bad for the spot. She took her coat and walked over to the spot. Setting her coat down over the spot's eyes, she saved it for a while. This spot would not have to endure the pain of seeing her deal with her mother. Having done this good deed, Rory sat back down quietly and with a slight feeling of contentment. She didn't care that her entire party was staring at her, confused by this sudden show. 


End file.
